*Spoilers, duh.*
Episode three was titled “Walk of Punishment,” but I felt
like the episode was less about moving one’s feet and more about a couple of
the characters’ upper-body counterparts, the hands.
Obviously, one scene literally revolves around a hand — the episode’s
final one, where Jaime has his hand lopped off as the screen faded to black
over his screams. In traditional Game of Thrones fashion, perhaps we should’ve
known doom was about to befall the King Slayer. We’ve seen him push a child
from a window and go unpunished. He killed a fellow prisoner to create a
distraction, which led to a second murder and temporary escape. The value of
his last name was important enough for his enemy’s mother to release him under
the watch of a worthy protector. For so long, Jaime was the fork-tongued and
handsome yet ruthless warrior who’s reputation and last name carried more
weight than Podrick’s wagon packed with history books. He’s gay-bashed and
taunted and all the while, has been sleeping with his sister. So what is the
gamechanger? What was the one thing that finally caused the King Slayer to face
long overdue punishment? On the surface, it appears he played the “my father’
card one too many times. Before that, however, Jaime acted nobly — an action
that has led to the downfall of many in Westeros.
Nobility has never led to reward on Game of Thrones, going
all the way back to Ned’s attempts to save the realm. Tales of Bri’s blinged-out
father may have saved her from rape, but when Jaime pushes his luck and
mentions his own father’s wealth, the earlier good deed offers no redemption.
While Jaime was losing a hand, Daenarys was weakening her
mightiest one, discarding one of the three aces she held up her sleeve. While
it remains to be seen if the mother of dragons will actually be detached from
the alpha of the dragon litter, she might want to consider tampering her
impatience. Ambition can be fickle if you’re not willing to bide your time, and
trading a dragon for Kraznys’ army of nutless knights, despite making Daenerys’
wish of having an army come to fruition, is a step in the wrong direction.
Jorah is right. Her strength on the mainland rests in the three dragons she
hatched in season one. When men discuss dragons there is talk of terror. While
8,000 ready-to-die soldiers are impressive compared to a few surviving Dothraki,
up against the armies of Tywin Lannister or Robb Stark, a fire-breathing shadow
overhead is much more frightening than staring down a mob of unsullied sword
wielders. Even Barristan agrees that an army willing to die will not fight as
ferociously as one willing to die for a cause.
Speaking of weakening positions, Robb Stark’s war honeymoon
is over. While he had plenty of success early in the battle to avenge his
father and free his sisters, he’s starting to show some cracks in his exterior.
Misfired arrows at his grandfather’s corpse only punctuate his growing dissatisfaction
and festering desperation. He’s not the only weak wannabe king in the mix. Stannis
Baratheon, who never misses a chance to remind everybody that he is the
rightful heir to the throne, can’t even convince his fire mistress to take him
along on her mission.
There were a lot of losers in “Walk of Punishment,” — Robb,
Stannis, Jaime, Daenarys, the Night’s Watch, who returned to the baby-sacrificing
confines south of the wall, leaving behind only discarded props from The Godather
courtesy the white walkers. However, whereas the crows took one in the “L”
column, Mance Rayder and his followers smell blood and a looming “W,” deciding
to make a run at the wall.
Who else won the night? It looks like Tyrion is back to his jolly
self, accepting that his father will never be more than lukewarm toward him. I
haven’t seen a good dragging gag like that since Men in Black. When he buys
Podrick a handful of whores, and later prods for the details of the lovemaking
while he and Bronn giggle like gossip girls, it became clear that Tyrion will
do just fine in replacing Petyr Baelish as Master of Coin (a great name for a
rapper, am I right?)a lesser position than he formerly held.
So Podrick the stallion, and now full-time member of Tyrion’s
clique (up to three members!), gets a win on the night, joining fellow winner
and Arya’s former walking buddy Hot Pie. After stopping for a meal, instead of
continuing on with the Brotherhood without Banners, Hot Pie realizes his place
is in the kitchen. He says his goodbyes over a loaf of breadwolf (a great name
for a rock band, am I right?) and watches as his old pals disappear. Anyone who
can step away from the game is a winner in Westeros, and nowhere could be further
from the iron throne than the kitchen of an inconspicuous inn nestled in the
forest.
Rounding out our characters in the win column was Westeros
whipping boy Theon Greyjoy. His sister had an inside man working the torture chamber,
and said connect set him free and then rescued him from men looking to recapture
him. For Theon, getting a steel ball in the stomach and falling from his horse
will have to do. It wasn’t pretty, but he was victorious nonetheless, as
someone was there to save his ass. Literally.
The list of losers includes some people not accustomed to
being on that side of the scoreboard. While Jaime has been in captivity for
most of the series, he has never really been in any danger, and no harm was done.
His loss is the one that will bring about the most interesting fallout. How
will he be received by his father now? It was no secret which son Tywin held
closest to his heart, or even cared for at all. But now his once right-hand man
(I couldn’t resist) is just another disappointment. Tyrion said in season one
that all dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes, and I want to see if the
same holds true for amputees.
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