#WorstFriends Best Of...

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 8

I have no problem saying “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is my favorite TV show.

No, it doesn’t have the butt-puckerin’ qualities of “Homeland,” the perpetual unspoken power struggles of “Mad Men,” or the fantastic medieval groomed nudity of “Game of Thrones,” nor do I watch it for the same reasons I watch those shows.

I watch Always Sunny to laugh. Not just to laugh here and there, but to constantly fluctuate between a sustained giggle and a hearty laugh from deep in the gut.

I love comedy, and without it, most shows just don’t hit home with me. “Mad Men” sprinkles it in quite often. Think of Don tossing a beer can into the wilderness as Betty whips trash off the picnic blanket, or Pete Campbell dragging a dead secretary across the office during an important meeting with clients. It helps lighten things up, which is needed to give viewers a break from Jon Hamm’s threatening scowls and stunning half smiles. The same holds true for “Game of Thrones.” Tyrion quips “Why are all the gods such viscous cunts? Where’s the God of tits and wine?” and after voraciously motivating his men to fight to the death against impossible odds, Theon Greyjoy is thunked on the head by one of said men who is ready to go home.

 But those shows don’t serve the same purpose as Always Sunny. The gang’s nonstop one-upping, machine-gun pitch-changing dialogue and extreme narcissism (without merit, I might add), combined with harebrained get-rich-quick schemes hastily executed, makes my stomach and cheeks hurt from laughing pains. The false sense of entitlement and achievement, and the attempts to fit in where they don’t belong makes Dennis, Dee, Mac, Charlie and Frank the funniest people on TV. And when you’re like me, and like to laugh (Who doesn’t? Cynical assholes, I guess.), there’s no better place than Paddy’s Pub – not Westeros, not Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, and not Abu Nazr’s palace.

 It’s not enough for me to just let something be entertaining, though. I never stop stacking things up against one another or considering the highs and lows of a show or episode. That’s how I’m wired. And because of this, I feel the need to give my opinion on the best of Always Sunny Season 8. Below, I will rank the 10 episodes from worst to best, with #1 being the best. (I die a little bit each time I have to explain something as obvious as this. It’s disheartening.) There will be a brief explanation as to why I ranked each episode where I did. After that, I will rank who I felt were the strongest (funniest) characters in season 8. When I say characters, I mean the five central characters – the gang.

 Enjoy.

 10. Charlie and Dee Find Love (8-4): Dee tries to woo a rich guy who is slumming it, and Charlie begins a relationship with an upper-class hottie, which ends when he hilariously publicly dumps and humiliates her. The Waitress is reeled into the shenanigans, as she is recruited to bring Charlie back to his senses. But really, The Waitress, I felt, was just included to give old fans like me a chance to say “Hey, look! The Waitress!” Not a horrible episode, but not memorable.
 9. The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre (8-3): I could’ve easily ranked this one 10th, but slid it up to ninth because it gives us some unfamiliar territory, which is where the gang shines (think of their attempts to gain entry in a country club pool, sneak into a Phillies game or their jaunt to the Jersey Shore). This was the Halloween episode, and while it was nice to see someone incorporate the Miami bath-salts all-you-can-eat face buffet into a Halloween zombie scenario, it just didn’t do much for me beyond that. Yes, it featured the McPoyles and Ponderosas. However, like a few episodes this season, it almost put them on screen just for the sake of having them on screen (see The Waitress above). I loved a lot of the new places and new ideas this season, but not in this episode. It was fun to see them try something different, though.
 8. Charlie’s Mom has cancer (8-6): The highlight in this one was Frank manipulating his children into thinking their mother is still alive, culminating in Charlie digging up her corpse at the end in front of the twins. There are also some good laughs when Charlie, Mac and Dennis go to church, which leads to them hosting a Beef and Beer and Jesus fundraiser. Diddy (yes, Diddy) was also a pleasant surprise in this episode – kudos to him for holding his own. Good stuff.
 7. Charlie Rules the World (8-8): Early in the episode, Dennis states that if Charlie ever ruled the world, he would blow himself, which he kind of does (it’s hard to explain). Basically, the premise of this episode is that everyone besides Dennis is swept up into a role-playing game, and Charlie eventually becomes obsessed with it, practically enslaving Sweet Dee (who was the catalyst for getting the others hooked). This episode once again features Charlie blowing it with a beautiful woman; this time because he’s threatened it’s a coup to overthrow what he has built in the game.
 6. Pop-pop: The Final Solution (8-1): As far as season premieres go, this one was pretty good. I’ve noticed something about my favorite comedies – Always Sunny, Workaholics and Wilfred. The seasons usually start out pretty mellow. Sure there’s some good laughs, but it takes a few episodes to really get rolling, and for the big laughs to start flowing. In the third paragraph, I alluded that Sunny usually keeps me on the laugh-o-meter between “giggling like a schoolgirl” and “laughing like Liotta in ‘Goodfellas.’” This episode mostly sustained a level slightly above giggling, mostly in the area of “gently chortling with the occasional guffaw,” but never hit the Liotta level. Charlie and Mac devouring rotten assisted-living soup, and Mac discovering the key to Hitler’s rage got me close, though. The only gripe was that at one point, the episode basically says “Hey! Remember Cricket? He works in an animal shelter! Laugh at that!”
 5. The Gang Recycles Their Trash (8-2): With all of my griping about episodes blatantly trying to appease old fans by bringing back characters just for the sake of doing so, it should make perfect sense that this one, which alters old stories, schemes and settings slightly around a new plot, is ranked this high on the list. I guess you could say I’m a “Wild card bitches!!!” (That’s how you foreshadow. Yay Yay!)
 4. Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense (8-10): The finale was pretty good. Frank, due to his poor eyesight, smashes into the back of Dennis’ car, spilling Dennis’ cereal all over the place. Yes, Dennis was eating cereal while driving. I’m thinking of trying it. Anyhow, to settle the matter, the gang sets up a mock courtroom in the bar, with Dennis being represented by Sweet Dee, Charlie representing Frank (you know Charlie had to get in lawyer mode, which is always a good time), and Mac serving as bailiff/judge. Mac, in an attempt to prove he is a credible witness, uses signs reading “bitch” to draw a parallel between evolution and creationism, which is probably the best part of the episode. Though I enjoy the episodes outside of the bar more (not counting Chardee MacDennis), ending the season back at Paddy’s was not a bad thing.
 3. The Gang Gets Analyzed (8-5): This was the point where the season really kicked it into high gear. Dee brings in the rest of the gang to speak with her therapist to prove they are responsible for her issues. On the couch, Mac is manic. Frank breaks down and lets the audience in on his time spent living with a “Frog Kid.” Dennis, with his ever-growing egomaniacal personality, obviously refuses to be analyzed, instead opting to perform his own psychological evaluations and assist the doctor. While there were good episodes before this one, this is where the season went from “Meh, that’s funny,” to “HOLY SHIT! HAHAHAHAHA.” Did I mention the whole episode is in a therapist’s office? Did I mention that therapist was Trudy fuckin’ Weigel?! It couldn’t have been easy topping this one.
 2. The Gang Dines Out (8-9): Gugino’s Italian Restaurant was supposed to be the place Mac and Dennis went for their monthly dinner… alone. Then, separately, Frank and Charlie show up (Frank wearing a ridiculous hairpiece, I should add). Later, we learn Dee has been there all along, and all alone, cashing in on a groupon coupon (or is it just groupon? Who cares?). Dennis doesn’t like his chair, or their table, or the fact that Charlie and Frank are there. Frank isn’t very happy Mac and Dennis are at the restaurant, either. This episode has tons of laughs, my favorite being when Charlie and Mac, both who believe the two parties should pay tribute to one another with a bow directed at the other table, happen to lock eyes. Neither one tries to hide it, much to the chagrin of their respective dining partners. There’s a hilarious musical confession by Dennis, blatant boob-grabbing and a shoelace-related prank by Dee, to boot. Loved it from start to finish.
 1. Frank’s Back in Business (8-7): We get to see Frank, or as he’s known in the corporate world, the Warthog, in action as a businessman. Charlie, of course, serves as his assistant and protégé. (Interesting, as he’s illiterate, as Dennis points out.) Speaking of Dennis, he decides to “wear another man’s skin,” meaning he assume the identity of Brian LeFeve, a Canadian businessman. With Dee and Mac (as Vic Vinegar – bodyguard and driver) alongside him, Dennis carries out a ruse on some corporate fat cats looking to broker a deal with LeFeve. Not to mention he almost goes through with a very… risqué, to say the least, sexual act. For much of the season, we could see Dennis’ inflated sense of self bubbling to the surface, but it finally boils over in this episode when he “gets off.” I’m not going to lie. During this episode, I was getting off right alongside of him.

 

Ranking the gang

Who was the funniest person this season? 

5. Charlie: Humiliated two beautiful girls who were out of his class; admonished a priest for not helping his mom pay for cancer treatments; did his lawyer shtick.

4. Sweet Dee: Flipped out on her therapist, destroying her office; reprised her sassy Latina field reporter persona; neglects hygiene while she’s consumed by online gaming.

3. Mac: Gets sprayed by pesticide to heal a rash; makes a video for investors pushing an alcoholic protein shake; labels Aristotle, Galileo and Isaac Newton as little bitches; hilariously breaks down on the therapy couch.

2. Frank: Lies about Dennis’ and Dee’s mother still being alive; wears a hairpiece and grabs a hostess’ boobs; sells his old company to the Chinese; gets cut to the core on the therapist’s couch; shows a certificate proving he does not have donkey brains.

1. Dennis: Drives while easting cereal; has sex with Maureen Ponderosa on her wedding day; shows a sex tape to Mac and Frank; nearly has a “nontraditional” sexual encounter, which I don’t want to spoil if you haven’t seen the LeFeve episode; sees himself performing oral sex on himself… with a British accent; makes a hilarious confession set to music in Gugino’s.

 

Keep in mind this is all just my humble opinion. I love all of these characters, but anyone who would claim Dennis didn’t go completely over the edge this season is making crazy talk.

 

That’s a wrap. If you haven’t watched this season yet, don’t worry, I didn’t spoil too much for you. I could’ve written another 2,000 words easily, but was afraid this would become one big “season-in-review.” So there you have it – my favorite episodes and characters from Season 8.

 

Bring on Season 9.Humiliated Hu

Tim Barnum is a co-host of the #WorstFriends Podcast, a writer and a journalist.

#WorstFriends review

The Hobbit: An Expected Journey to the Urinal

My last trip to Middle Earth was more than eight years ago, late spring 2004.It was similar to other trips, but my two friends and I who made the jaunt saw a few new sites this go-round, as we splurged for the director’s extended cut package.

A 12-plus-hour roundtrip on the red-eye – 9 p.m. to 9 a.m. – nonstop. We made it safely, besides getting flour in our eyes, noses and mouths and on the apartment floor. For some reason we decided this was the perfect night to embrace “antiquing.” Sophomoric? Yes. Idiotic? Yes.

But a fun trip nonetheless. I couldn’t wait to go back, and Saturday I did. It was everything I remembered.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey immediately reminds fans of how amazing the scenery, color and special effects were in the Lord of The Rings trilogy. I have lodged complaints about CGI on podcasts before, but this movie is proof it can be done right and done well. The dwarven cave-metropolis of Elebor is Avatar-ish, and there’s just something about wide scenes of bright green rolling hills with mountains and a bright blue sky in the background that feels right. Even if these scenes features orc-mounted giant wolf-cats chasing super rabbits towing a mushroom-addicted wizard with bird shit in his hair, it feels good.

The Shire, which we have visited several times, is another example of how easy on the eyes the movie is. However, it is also here where some of the weakest moments of the movie occur, and for too long. There are some fun moments, like when Elijah Wood drags his ass off the couch and takes a break from smoking dope with a man in a dog suit long enough to wink at the camera. This is before we go back 60 years before LOTR, and I wish the movie did not spend as much time in “present” day. It’s not like we’re here forever, but come on, I’ve been gone awhile, let’s do what we came here to do.

Finally we go back to the past, where Bilbo is being recruited by conquered dwarves and Gandalf for his skills with a set of sticky fingers. After tolerating a couple of corny dwarf songs, and a lot of forgettable pleading with a hobbit who really isn’t up for the job, the adventure begins, and Bilbo joins the roving dwarves out to reclaim their home.

I don’t want to give a bunch of details about everything that happened along the way. This movie was nearly three hours long, so I’m just going to throw out a couple of random thoughts here to get to some of my favorite parts of the movie. So I’m going to rattle off a random sequence of things that I want to point out, but not spend a lot of time on.

Three large horse-stealing-and-eating trolls. Rivendell. Agent Smith. Gandalf smoking what is clearly mind-altering tobacco. Weapons. Bilbo gets a sword that someone calls an envelope opener. Someone makes a joke about how golf was invented. (If I heard that right. I hope I didn’t.)

Amidst all this, we get an incredible flashback sequence. In it we see a stand-off between Thorin, the dwarf prince, leader of the aforementioned exiled dwarves, and the pale orc. The flashback provides some much-needed action, and establishes one of the many overwhelming obstacles our heroes have to overcome. Johnsy was using the terlet at this moment, and missed an important reference. More on this later.

The pale orc and his pack aren’t the only non-humans the fellas encounter on their way to reclaim Elebor. A new group of dwarves we run into are led by a fat-saggy-chinned orc, and not long after looking at his gross chin (CGI I did not need to see), we get what we all came for.

THE. PETER. JACKSON. CLIMAX.

As Colin and I discussed in #WorstFriends 28, when Peter Jackson decides it’s go time, don’t blink. I’m not going to spoil what happens (we already did on the podcast), but think about past PJCs. These are not intense 15-30-minute sequences. Peter Jackson’s climaxes go all night long (If the sexual undertones amuse you, laugh. If not, groan.)

With roughly an hour remaining, as my friend Colin would say, “It’s butt-puckerin’ time.” The sequence is similar to the escape sequence at the end of The Fellowship of the Ring and the charge out of the castle during the battle of Helms Deep. There’s desperation, a face-off, balls and birds – an overall great ending to a very good movie.

Those last three words sum up my overall feelings about The Hobbit. It’s not great. It’s not better than The Two Towers or Return of the King, and although I could understand someone saying they liked it more than The Fellowship of the Ring, I’m not ready to go there. Close, but it just comes up a little short.

It was good enough to remind me how much I loved the original trilogy, though. And while I have probably grown more fanatical over other movies, TV shows and Harry Potter since LOTR wrapped up, I now find myself instantly looking forward to the new installment and the next PJC.

One more thing. I had to take a piss break about an hour and a half into the movie. I don’t believe I missed anything too critical, so this would be a good time for those of you without a bladder of steel to do the same.

Tim Barnum is one of the hosts of the #WorstFriends podcast, a writer and journalist.

#WorstFriends 28

MP3 right click and select save/download to download

It's The Hobbit week on #WorstFriends. Tim and Colin discuss it at the 44:52 mark, but there's plenty of great stuff before that, including a guest appearance from NBA Commissioner David Stern (1:09). Slap and tickles are given to a diverse cast of characters, from Michale Bolton (4:07, the singer not the guy from Office Space), and comedian Rob Little (6:08). On the flip side, Steve Young Stares are doled out (11:12) to a few people and Tim has a Tyrion request (27:52). Game of Thrones comes up (32:00), as does Tim's attempts to court the sexy grandmother (37:00). Listen and learn kiddies. STRINGER ALERT.

*There are some audio issues with Colin's track in the beginning of the podcast.*

#WorstFriends 27

MP3 right click and select save/download to download

After Tim's suspension from the NBA is lifted, he and Colin get into their Slap and Tickles (2:40), which acknowledge Tickle from the Moonshiners, Benedict Cumberbatch and many more. Colin gives an update on his impeding #WorstHoneymoon (34:20). Bruce Campbell is coming to town (47:39), and the fellas are already looking forward to it. Tim has a concern about The Hobbit (50:45), and the podcast closes out with a discussion about the Stitcher Awards (58:25) and podcasts in general.

#WorstFriends 26

MP3 right click and select save/download to download

You know the deal with the #WorstFriends — You buy the whole seat but you only need the edge. Colin's upcoming NYC trip is discussed, and Tim may need to find a subsititute co-host. Tim got his hands on some NBA league office transcripts, and Colin will not see a movie because of Papa Stink (who's son is also mentioned on this episode). Follow the podcast on Twitter @WorstFriendsPod and like us on Facebook.