Game of Thrones “Walk of Punishment” recap

*Spoilers, duh.*

Episode three was titled “Walk of Punishment,” but I felt like the episode was less about moving one’s feet and more about a couple of the characters’ upper-body counterparts, the hands.

Obviously, one scene literally revolves around a hand — the episode’s final one, where Jaime has his hand lopped off as the screen faded to black over his screams. In traditional Game of Thrones fashion, perhaps we should’ve known doom was about to befall the King Slayer. We’ve seen him push a child from a window and go unpunished. He killed a fellow prisoner to create a distraction, which led to a second murder and temporary escape. The value of his last name was important enough for his enemy’s mother to release him under the watch of a worthy protector. For so long, Jaime was the fork-tongued and handsome yet ruthless warrior who’s reputation and last name carried more weight than Podrick’s wagon packed with history books. He’s gay-bashed and taunted and all the while, has been sleeping with his sister. So what is the gamechanger? What was the one thing that finally caused the King Slayer to face long overdue punishment? On the surface, it appears he played the “my father’ card one too many times. Before that, however, Jaime acted nobly — an action that has led to the downfall of many in Westeros.

Nobility has never led to reward on Game of Thrones, going all the way back to Ned’s attempts to save the realm. Tales of Bri’s blinged-out father may have saved her from rape, but when Jaime pushes his luck and mentions his own father’s wealth, the earlier good deed offers no redemption.

While Jaime was losing a hand, Daenarys was weakening her mightiest one, discarding one of the three aces she held up her sleeve. While it remains to be seen if the mother of dragons will actually be detached from the alpha of the dragon litter, she might want to consider tampering her impatience. Ambition can be fickle if you’re not willing to bide your time, and trading a dragon for Kraznys’ army of nutless knights, despite making Daenerys’ wish of having an army come to fruition, is a step in the wrong direction. Jorah is right. Her strength on the mainland rests in the three dragons she hatched in season one. When men discuss dragons there is talk of terror. While 8,000 ready-to-die soldiers are impressive compared to a few surviving Dothraki, up against the armies of Tywin Lannister or Robb Stark, a fire-breathing shadow overhead is much more frightening than staring down a mob of unsullied sword wielders. Even Barristan agrees that an army willing to die will not fight as ferociously as one willing to die for a cause.

Speaking of weakening positions, Robb Stark’s war honeymoon is over. While he had plenty of success early in the battle to avenge his father and free his sisters, he’s starting to show some cracks in his exterior. Misfired arrows at his grandfather’s corpse only punctuate his growing dissatisfaction and festering desperation. He’s not the only weak wannabe king in the mix. Stannis Baratheon, who never misses a chance to remind everybody that he is the rightful heir to the throne, can’t even convince his fire mistress to take him along on her mission.

There were a lot of losers in “Walk of Punishment,” — Robb, Stannis, Jaime, Daenarys, the Night’s Watch, who returned to the baby-sacrificing confines south of the wall, leaving behind only discarded props from The Godather courtesy the white walkers. However, whereas the crows took one in the “L” column, Mance Rayder and his followers smell blood and a looming “W,” deciding to make a run at the wall.

Who else won the night? It looks like Tyrion is back to his jolly self, accepting that his father will never be more than lukewarm toward him. I haven’t seen a good dragging gag like that since Men in Black. When he buys Podrick a handful of whores, and later prods for the details of the lovemaking while he and Bronn giggle like gossip girls, it became clear that Tyrion will do just fine in replacing Petyr Baelish as Master of Coin (a great name for a rapper, am I right?)a lesser position than he formerly held.

So Podrick the stallion, and now full-time member of Tyrion’s clique (up to three members!), gets a win on the night, joining fellow winner and Arya’s former walking buddy Hot Pie. After stopping for a meal, instead of continuing on with the Brotherhood without Banners, Hot Pie realizes his place is in the kitchen. He says his goodbyes over a loaf of breadwolf (a great name for a rock band, am I right?) and watches as his old pals disappear. Anyone who can step away from the game is a winner in Westeros, and nowhere could be further from the iron throne than the kitchen of an inconspicuous inn nestled in the forest.

Rounding out our characters in the win column was Westeros whipping boy Theon Greyjoy. His sister had an inside man working the torture chamber, and said connect set him free and then rescued him from men looking to recapture him. For Theon, getting a steel ball in the stomach and falling from his horse will have to do. It wasn’t pretty, but he was victorious nonetheless, as someone was there to save his ass. Literally.

The list of losers includes some people not accustomed to being on that side of the scoreboard. While Jaime has been in captivity for most of the series, he has never really been in any danger, and no harm was done. His loss is the one that will bring about the most interesting fallout. How will he be received by his father now? It was no secret which son Tywin held closest to his heart, or even cared for at all. But now his once right-hand man (I couldn’t resist) is just another disappointment. Tyrion said in season one that all dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes, and I want to see if the same holds true for amputees.