Game of Thrones “The Climb” recap

*Spoilers ahead.*

The title of this week’s Game of Thrones episode had both literal and figurative meanings. Climbing for Petyr Baelish begins on an opportunistic ladder raised by chaos. For Jon Snow there is no ladder, only picks, ropes and fear to propel him up the frozen wall.

And love. Jon and Ygritte, with an assist from a magical tongue, no longer have a temptress-temptee relationship, but an ever-growing affection for each other. So much so that she tells him they’re all that matters before the climb, and after it. They’re words Jon takes to heart as he swings to the side of the crumbling wall, driving his pick into the frozen slope and rescuing his dangling girlfriend. They make out atop the wall after the sun breaks through the clouds and we see sweeping shots both north and south of the boundary of civilization. The crows don’t care about Jon. Mance Rayder doesn’t care about Ygritte. And it looks like they don’t care what anyone else feels about them, as evidence by high-altitude PDA.

Their relationship was only one of many addressed during the episode, and is possibly the only one not doomed for a disastrous fallout. The only other exceptions might be Jaime and Bri and Sam and Gilly. The King Slayer has his swagger back now that he’s bathed and bandaged, but without Bri he can never cut his steak without rocking the table. And without his remaining hand Bri can’t stop herself from using silverware from fighting her way out of a trial for abetting treason. It’s a shame Lord Bolton is splitting them up, much to the coy chagrin of Jaime and silent disappointment of Bri. She’s too hard to admit that it’s not duty but attraction that compels her to complete her mission, and he’s too cool to admit the same.

While Jaime and Bri have their own reasons for denying the attraction, Sam has no excuse other than he is an overgrown child. Gilly obviously trusts him, and is taken with his privileged upbringing and willingness to sing her baby to sleep. Just go for it Sam.

In King’s Landing and the Frey, the relationships are not developing naturally, and for this reason, are much less likely to succeed. Sansa Stark is a much-sought after bachelorette these days, but will be stuck with Tyrion and vice versa. He informs her of this in front of Shae, his actual love — the woman who loved him back. None of that matters to Tywin Lannister, who arranged the marriage, and his daughter’s feeling never mattered either. Lady Olenna doesn’t like the thought of tossing a flower in the dirt by having Loras marry Cersei, but eventually relents. The conversation between the two was great, with Olenna holding her own, accusing Tywin of experimenting and admitting Loras is “a sword swallower through and through.”

Loras seems unconcerned with all the marriage games. He’s more interested in planning a fabulous wedding and answering the eternal question, “Is it a brooch or pin?” Whether Sansa, Loras or one of the Lannister children is the biggest loser in Tywin’s love connection is a tough call. But at least Cersei and Tyrion pondering the question does lead to one answer — it was Joffrey who tried to kill the half-man during the Battle of Blackwater.

Joffrey might have failed in murdering his uncle, but had no trouble pinning Ros against the bed post. We assume she was sent to his room by Little Finger in retaliation to giving Varys the scoop on Baelish’s blackmail attempt on Loras. Right when it seemed Maergery was starting to turn Joffrey into something resembling a human with a beating heart, he fires arrows into the chance of ever becoming anything more than the Antichrist he is. We see him smile at his work over a monologue by Little Finger, which was quite stirring.

Elsewhere where archery is practiced, arrows shot by Arya during her lessons reveal the Red Priestess’ approach on brotherhood turf, and Gendry is exchanged for gold. Melisandre’s mission for king’s blood gave her many options, the most convenient being her lover Stannis. There must be more to this bastard than meets the eye, though. The one lovechild of Robert’s to escape Joffrey’s killing spree in season two appears to have the king’s blood the red witch desires. But is her take on what the Lord of Light requires to be trusted? Her holiness pales in comparison to Thoros’, who has brought back Beric from six deaths. Even she is surprised at her god’s power.

Arya is down about losing Gendry, much like big brother Robb is about losing the war, despite never falling in battle. I thought his line regarding the battle-to-war victory conundrum was brilliant, as was the rearranging of the union. Sacrificing Catelyn’s brother with poor aim for the cause of the war does not go over well at first, but ultimately Robb gets his way, pleasing his former father-in-law-to-be and picking up reinforcements along the way.

I thought this was a great episode for the most part, but I could’ve done without Theon being tortured and Brann and friends wargin’ out. The guessing game in the torture chamber seemed to be simply an attempt to sate viewers’ need for gore. I still don’t know who the punisher is, and still have no clue if he will play a bigger role in the game. As for the wandering wargs, I felt it superfluous the show friction between Osha and Meera. We knew this was happening. Like the brotherhood told Arya, it’s because they’re women.

Love is growing in the north and being denied elsewhere. We reached the top of the wall, and marriages have been arranged and rearranged like an obsessive-compulsive table setter might move forks, unaware the difference between which one is for the salad and which one is for the steak. The final place setting will be revealed over the next four episodes, and is likely to be as over-the-top as a dream wedding in Highgarden.